Category Archives: friends in MLM

Understanding How Women Network

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Understanding How Women Network

I recently read this article, written back in 2009 and in Forbes magazine and thought it was worth passing along to our readers and members of our network. (Written by Meghan Casserly, Forbes Staff Entrepreneurship. By women, of women, for women.)

“Whether through online social networking or face-to-face contact, women are meeting, sharing and connecting in ways that men often shy away from. The result is lasting relationships that are the building blocks of future job placements, sales leads and partnerships.

We’re dissecting the ins and outs of the way women network differently than men–with the experts weighing in on the how, why and a lesson on building connections with the guys.

Do women network differently than men?

In a word, yes. “Men don’t actually network the way women define networking,” says Gail Blanke, a life coach and author of Throw Out Fifty Things: Clear the Clutter, Find Your Life. They do what she calls “a straight shot.” (http://www.throwoutfiftythings.com/)

The narrative looks like this: A man thinks, “Who do I know who has what I need right now?”–could be a job, investment tip or tickets to the game–and then he asks for it. Simple.

Women are generally more complex. “We see things from a lot of different angles, not just one straight-lined route, and so we take a roundabout route,” says Blanke. In an effort to personalize professional networking, women normally try to create connections or friendships. “Before we think, ‘What can this person do for me,’ we ask, ‘What can I do for her in order to get what I need.’”

In many cases this give-and-then-take style of networking builds long-lasting relationships. “Connecting is what it’s all about for women,” says Blanke. Think LinkedIn: “Even if she can’t help me, maybe she knows somebody who can or will think of me at some point in the future when she needs somebody. In other words, the connection is not wasted, even if there’s no immediate transaction.”

What are the benefits of building these relationships?

“Women are really good listeners, and, even at a networking event, we listen to what the other person needs so that we can help to make that happen,” continues Blanke. “Out of that comes trust. And out of that–perhaps–comes a new business contact, new boyfriend or play dates for your kids. That works for women.”

Underscoring the point, Sonya Shelton, a leadership consultant and founder of Being Present to Win, describes women’s style of networking as mutually beneficial “added value.”

“Women help each other build our businesses and our networks,” says Shelton. “We can also share what we’re learning, reach out to each other as thought-partners and have more access to best practices within our industry.”

What’s the downside to making personal connections when networking for business?

“I love your handbag,” says a woman next to you at an industry event as you’re waiting in line for a glass of Chardonnay. By the time you’ve tipped the bartender, you’ve discovered she shares your favorite designers and also has two elementary school-age kids. You exchange business cards and part with a new friend.

Now that you have a personal connection, you recommend her for a job–or perhaps hire her yourself. Well, it’s really uncomfortable if it doesn’t work out, right? After all, she’s your “friend.”

“Sometimes creating these intimate connections in networking can backfire,” says Dawn Todd, founder of Wildly Successful Woman Network, a membership-based network of female entrepreneurs. “Still, if you’ve developed a real and honest relationship, you can go to her and say, ‘My experience with your service didn’t accomplish what I thought it would. And as someone who cares about you, I want to help you.’ Now your relationship–both personally and professionally–can move forward.”

Where’s the line between networking and friendship?

It’s called pragmatism. “Many women would benefit from drawing a harder line between networking relationships and personal relationships,” says Karen Burns, author of The Amazing Adventures of Working Girl: Real Life Career Advice You Can Actually Use.

In networking, your goal is to “sell yourself” so you appear responsible, reliable and smart. Sharing TMI that makes you look otherwise can backfire. Off the table: sex, politics, drinking escapades and, well, you get the picture. “Yes, it’s good to be open and real but keep the impression you’re making in mind.”

How do I develop networking skills with men?

Men and women have very different brains and they do network differently, says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., biological anthropologist at Rutgers University and author of Why Him, Why Her. “The male brain is more compartmentalized; they get straight to the point, they know the goal. They tend to decide right away, with little to no small-talk, whether they will work with you or not.”

If you know what you want, ask for it. Drop the small talk. And if you are going to make small talk, make boy small talk, not girl talk. And get to the point.” end of article

For me, as a woman, it has always been easier to network and communicate with other women. There is no second guessing on ulterior motivation, etc. in our communications. I suppose part of that came from when I was a personal trainer and on occasion trained men. In many cases, when I complimented them for their form, or progress, they began to think I was interested in them in a personal way, rather than just encouraging them as a client professionally.

What do you think of the article? When I read it I had some “aha moments” and it made sense.

Understanding how women networking is incredibly important in network marketing, or direct sales, where you are building a team together, where everyone benefits together.

Dave and Joy/Global Leaders & Trainers with Tavala

802-846-7530

info@DaveandJoy.com

www.DaveandJoy.com

 

4 Practical & Spiritual Tips for Entrepreneurs

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Once you are an entrepreneur more times than not it’s difficult to imagine being ’employed’ by anyone ever again. Some people claim they are “unemployable (I know I have used that term before) or even a “serial entrepreneur”!

Not everyone is cut out to successfully “be their own boss” but for those who are, the rewards are tremendous.

I believe you have to be self-motivated, self-driven, have a strong work ethic and be able to handle changes peacefully.

I say that because changes and disappointments will come that you did not anticipate or plan for. You may not reach your goal or have business be what you imagined on paper…but don’t fret. You are the creator of your life and as an entrepreneur you’ll continue to get ‘up to bat’ until you create what you set out to have and create. Simply put- that is what true entrepreneurs do!

I consider my self more of a ‘Social’ Entrepreneur than a traditional entrepreneur… which to me means I do what I do not just for time freedom, freedom of creative expression, but also to make the world a better place. By social entrepreneur it does not mean I am ‘not for profit’- far from it, I simply choose to create my business out of passion that I have burning in my soul.

I don’t and won’t compromise my reputation or sell anything to simply make the proverbial ‘buck’…. I must feel confident that what I am offering (product, opportunity or service) will actually HELP the person whom I am speaking to.

I was not born with an entrepreneur spirit nor did I grow up desiring to have my own business- it “found me” and perhaps if you have your own business now, it may have found YOU too!

Many people ask “How do I begin?”

I think it is imperative to discover your TRUE MOTIVATION! Why do you want to have your own business or be an entrepreneur?

One of the fastest way entrepreneurs get burnt out is when they do things for the wrong reasons, such as money, fame or to impress others.

While this strategy can be OK in the short term, in the long term it can harm your reputation and pull you off track on what truly motivated you in the first place.

If you are only motivated by money or fame, very quickly you are going to find yourself burnt out and feeling empty. It is far more satisfying to do things for yourself and to do things for the right reasons, whatever that means for you.

Honor Your Failures

It is easy to get side tracked by your failures as an entrepreneur and to blame or beat yourself for your mistakes, but a simple shift in perspective can make all the difference. Instead of viewing your failures as disasters and things you should be embarrassed about, consider looking at them as valuable learning opportunities. Some of the biggest failures often also lead to the greatest successes, and by thinking positively it allows you to see the truth in this.

(If you are an entrepreneur who joins a network marketing company, sometimes this can be difficult when the company makes false promises, runs out of inventory, or eliminates the products that have been your highest selling product with the company- but hang in there- chances are if you don’t give up and if you keep a positive outlook- it will lead you to the right company or opportunity in time. It certainly did for us).

Being grateful for every experience, without judging it or judging yourself, can help you to focus on the positives of the situation. Failure can be part of the process and when if and when it does happen, embracing it and honoring yourself, rather than fighting against it can make it far more manageable…. even if the reason was not in your control!

Learn to Trust Your Instincts

One of the best recipes for a successful business is learning to trust your instincts….and I know you know that feeling! It’s that GUT feeling that you get when you clearly know something is a strong YES or a strong NO! While it is necessary to look at the facts and figures as well, using your intuition to guide you can help you to make decisions quicker and with less mental strain.

We all have an intuition; we just need to learn to train it like a muscle. Practices like meditation and stilling your mind and tuning into that inner voice can help you connect to that intuition we all have.

Many great entrepreneurs have used their intuition to make some of the most radical and life changing moves for their business. While strengthening your intuition won’t happen overnight, in time it could become one of your most valuable assets.

Feel Successful Right Now

Most entrepreneurs get caught chasing success, (I certainly have) but the reality is that success is more of a state of mind than something that is tangible. While most of us equate success to money, this is actually a false belief.

If we have the attitude of “chasing” success, we will forever find ourselves stuck in the chase. When I say to feel successful right now I don’t mean FAKE IT until you MAKE IT- I mean having that vision of success in your mind each and every day and living FROM that feeling & vision!

Even when you reach a goal or milestone, you are most likely going to simply want more and more. This is just the way the human mind is programmed, unless we can change the pattern. Instead of believing you will be successful when you reach a particular milestone, start feeling successful right now.

Focus on all the things that make you feel successful now and in turn, this will help you to create more success. When you feel successful with what you have right now, your life also becomes far more enjoyable and less about the “pursuit” and more about the ‘having'”. Practice the attitude of gratitude daily!

So, while these 4 tips may be different to the ones you are used to hearing, try applying them to your entrepreneurial tool belt and even to your life, and I believe they can help you to truly thrive on every level.

Are you looking for the perfect business to start or to join? Are you an entrepreneur or looking to be? If so, we’d love to hear from you. Both Dave and I are coaches and entrepreneurs and look forward to working with and even mentoring other entrepreneurs.

You can reach us at 802-846-7530 or info@DaveandJoy.com. Our business is www.DaveandJoy.com